Powerlifting My Spirits

It's pretty crazy to look back and realize that it has almost been a year since I wrote in my blog. Some may choose to look at that as a good thing and others may wonder why I ever stopped writing. I have felt the need to write for a while now but making it a priority has obviously not happened. Life has been busy between work, working out and finding time to enjoy myself. Up until this point every time I sat down to write it generally was structured around my grief journey and how I was handling each day but today my post is surrounded around some of the exciting things I am doing in my life and the learning that is occurring as I take those steps. I have figured out how to take my sadness and pain and transfer it into positive actions rather than just sitting in grief. I no longer let it overpower my thoughts instead I have found new techniques to remember my father while continuing to spread his power of love to the rest of the world. In helping others reach their goals I have found my passion, which I believe everyone knew was my path before I even began the career I have chosen. I am not perfect but I have made huge strides into living the life that I know my father would be proud of.

With that being said, most people that know me would agree that I have an extreme passion for working out and it's ultimately what led me years ago to the position I am in currently of being a personal trainer and sports performance coach. I absolutely love pushing people to new limits. The ability to see people reach new goals and watching them strive to be the best they can is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Hearing the words "I can't" come out of my clients mouths makes me work that much harder to prove to each of them that they can. I have learned that while people are working out you see a side of them that you may never see in their every day life. You see dedication to a specific task with an attitude of never giving up even if they fail they will get right back up and try again, and again, and again, until they accomplish the task you are asking of them. Not only do they strive for greatness for themselves, but they strive for those working out beside them and even more than that they strive to make me, their coach, proud. I continue to learn so much about fitness, working out, nutrition and what the body is capable of on any given day. I have witnessed what fear can do to a person and that while fear may be controlling the mind all they need is just one person to believe in them and care about their journey. That care for others is really just having compassion for every single person you come in contact with knowing that at any given moment you have the ability to forever change that persons life. For me, my avenue to most people is through fitness and I feel fortunate that I can impact lives in a healthy and positive manner.

Through fitness I have been introduced to some pretty incredible human beings. As I continue to surround myself around new groups of people one of the most exciting things to see is each persons passion. We may come from a different past, our stories may not match up perfectly if even at all, we may not be the same skin color or even the same gender and our personal goals may not match up but one common connection we all have is that we strive to be the best we can in order to break the barriers we have built for ourselves. However, one thing I have realized or maybe I should say one thing I know I struggle with is that we must open our eyes to those around us in times of need. Physical strength becomes even more powerful when you take advantage of those people surrounding you that want to build you up and inspire you to reach a new level of greatness. Each individual helps create a culture and that culture becomes a driving force behind the challenges faced by any one person who understands how difficult it is to push the body to its limits. Understanding someones goal is not necessary, what is necessary is the ability to understand what it takes mentally and physically to never stop until that goal is achieved. Alone a person can only push them self as far as they are willing to push but in a group or a pack of like-minded individuals, suddenly that same person is able to dig deeper and not give up until they have exhausted all ability to try. Giving up without an attempt to succeed is a sign of weakness and as humans we hate feeling weak. Even more than just personally feeling weak we hate other people seeing our weakness, vulnerability is not our friend.

You can definitely consider me a gym rat, I can spend hours and hours in a gym with no care in the world. I love to push my body to its limits and fortunately I have always been someone that could push myself without anyone around. In the past I have found it hard to workout in a group unless it was a class style workout where I knew I could push myself and help push others at the same time. I decided to take action on a goal that I had for myself but never took the steps towards, known as the sport of powerlifting.  In order to reach new personal records there is no other choice than to allow others to be apart of that journey, so for once I branched out to find someone that could teach me how to be a Powerlifter. I promised myself that once I set my mind to it I would take whatever steps necessary to reach my goal. In the process I found my coach Gracie V who immediately believed that my goal was not only possible but that I would fall in love with a sport I knew very little about. I walked into California Elite Training Center and never felt so out of place in my life. The outgoing, loud, and fun girl that most know me as became this shy and quiet individual that felt so uncomfortable. I started questioning if I could ever fit in but within minutes I realized that I was in my version of a gym heaven. Slowly I began meeting all these people, one person after another I would introduce myself and for once it wasn't guys, it was a group of women with all different backgrounds but with the same goal.

I have now been powerlifting for a little over a month and slowly I am feeling stronger and stronger. Not only am I physically stronger but mentally stronger. I am surrounded around a pack of people that are not only passionate about reaching goals but they are also extremely passionate about others reaching their goals. One minute I find myself frustrated or excited about my performance and the next I am screaming and yelling at a fellow lifter to motivate them to not give up. I am becoming more and more comfortable with the person I am. These ladies remind me every single day that I am number one and that if I don't take care of myself I won't be any good for anyone else. As a group we pick each other up and on the tough days no matter how alone we may feel we are as far from alone as possible. I am also learning to dig deep and find that passion that is buried inside of me and for once in my life I want to truly do something for myself. I will not allow myself to give up on this journey. As long as I continue to give everything I have I know that with the help of this pack I will not fail. Come April 30th, when I step into that gym for meet day I want to say that I did everything I could and that no matter what the outcome is on that day this is only the beginning.

Remember that your goals matter and that you have everything that you need inside of you at this exact time. Remove the statement "I can't" and believe that you can. Decide what goal you want to achieve, make a commitment to yourself to take whatever steps necessary to reach that goal, and you will succeed. 

Always stay humble, and never let fear hold you back! 



God Bless,
Taylor

My Journey to Now

Leading up to my senior year of college, I had been battling a number of injuries and spending the majority of my time in the athletic training room attempting to rehab my ankles, knees and hips. As a college soccer player it wasn’t unheard of for people to spend a lot of time in the training room but I remember always questioning why so many people lived in that room. Each and every one of us knew it wasn’t a place we wanted to spend our time, however for some reason it was inevitable that we would end up in there at some point or another. After exhausting all other options a teammate recommended I go to Rehab United to be evaluated and my athletic trainer agreed. I remember walking into the building and having this feeling that I was in the right place.  

My evaluation would end up being with one of the most amazing and influential people still in my life today, Arturo. Immediately I knew I was in a place where people cared about me on a level that no other medical professional ever had and their ultimate goal was to get me back on the soccer field. Two times a week I would spend 2+ hours rehabbing my ankle and finally I was seeing changes in strength, mobility, and stability not only of my ankle but my body as a whole. The movements, stretches, exercises, and thought processes were unlike anything I had ever seen before but it was working. It was during this time frame that my idea of physical fitness, therapy, and movement as a whole was transformed into a new philosophy that was being studied by only a small portion of the world. Where did this concept begin you ask?…in a very small town in Michigan known as Adrian.
Now flashback to my childhood years. At a very young age I knew that the profession I chose would be a position where I could influence the lives of other’s. My dad was a Chiropractor and although I knew that was not the career for me, I saw the passion he had and the love he had for every person he came in contact with. He touched lives, as many as he possibly could, and he would continue to do that for the 20 years he practiced. He taught me what love was, what love is and how to show that love even when you feel as if your world is falling apart. He received that strength from his mother, my grandmother, who was one of the most amazing women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I am truly lucky to call both of them family and I am a better human being for not only knowing the both of them but for being blessed to have them as part of my every day. 

In January of 2009 I would begin working as a volunteer for Rehab United in order to complete my senior capstone project. I fell in love with everything about RU and everyone at RU had fully accepted me into their lives. I felt like I was apart of something so much bigger, something that was changing the lives of every person that walked through the door and making people better in more ways than one. It was how I had always witnessed my father care for people and I felt safe in a place that was driven by passion for people. I would later find out that my purpose for being at Rehab United was far beyond anything I could have ever imagined because that following December my dad would pass away from a heart attack and the following June my grandma would pass away from cancer. My two best friends had been ripped away from my life and I felt like I had nothing. I was lost, very lost, but I had reason to be or at least thats what everyone would tell me. I was sad and questioned whether I could continue to make it through each day. Some days I believe the only reason I did make it through was because of God and the hope that I had of one day feeling less heart ache and suffering. So, as most people do I kept moving along one step in front of the other and attempting to make sense of my world that had been flipped upside down. 

At that point in my life I needed something to focus on because what do we do as humans when things aren’t going well, we find that one thing or a few things to take over our thoughts. You may call it running away but at the time the only thing that helps people move on is staying busy. Some people run to things such as; drugs, alcohol, exercise, people, or anything else that seems to make them feel even a little better at the time. For me, it was applied functional science. I chose to suffocate my thoughts into my job and to the people I came in contact with every day. I found this extreme passion for learning this concept that most people had no understanding of and all I wanted was to change the lives of the people walking through the doors of Rehab United. Each night I studied different cases and immersed myself into understanding the biomechanics of the body. I came to work every single day with at least one question and would not quit until I found the answer. I am sure the physical therapists at Rehab United got sick of me at times because I was constantly bothering them. I wanted their eyes, I wanted to see what they were seeing and understand how they could look at a person walking and break down every movement of their body in all three planes of motion. I found myself coming into work hours early for my shift for the sole purpose of being able to sit in on evaluations or even daily treatments without having to work as an aide. The minute I walked out of the building at the end of the day I was completely exhausted and emotionally drained. I spent my drives home crying with an overwhelming feeling of being alone. The worst feeling was walking out of those doors of RU knowing I would have to go home to an empty house without my dad there to ask about my day. Rehab United had become my safe haven, it was a place I could call home where I knew people loved me and supported me. I didn’t want to leave.

Rehab United and Applied Functional Science not only saved my life but it also opened my eyes to a completely different world. Suddenly I gained the ability to look at people and trust in a full recovery, a recovery that would get people back to not only daily function but to any and every goal they had for themselves. I witnessed lives being transformed through love and compassion. My compassion for the injured grew immensely and I began to see both psychological and physical aspects to pain, especially chronic pain. It was no longer about me and my struggles but how I could work on learning to leave my own life struggles at the door in order to fully care for those in need. Some days that wasn’t possible but the coworkers and patients that always had my back made sure that I made it through those days. It wasn’t easy by any means and it was probably more difficult on those people who were there day in and day out, who saw me at my worst and still loved me the same. Every single one of those people brought light into a world that was very dark and they are the people that I can’t even begin to thank enough.

It’s now March 25th 2014 and it has been 4 1/2 years since my world took a turn for the worse. I have went off path a number of times, I have ran away from a lot of things, but one thing I have always done is make sure I face anything I knew I needed to. So, I returned to San Diego from Colorado in order to find myself yet again and work on those things.  Immediately after returning I knew I needed to push myself to make some sort of step forward especially in my career. My client base and class numbers were increasing and my passion for personal training was growing. It was time to accept my position at Rehab United fully in my heart and buy into growing as a personal trainer with the goal of touching as many lives as possible.

I began writing this post on the plane coming home from Adrian, Michigan after attending my first GIFT gathering. For those who don’t know, GIFT is a 40 week online fellowship of Applied Functional Science that includes visiting Adrian three different times for in person lectures about the material. It’s pretty amazing to be in a room filled with over 100 people coming from all different backgrounds including 15 different countries to learn and grasp a concept that seems incredibly foreign to most of them. Some of those 100 people are wondering if they even believe it to be true, however as its performed right in front of their eyes you see the transformation take place in every single one of them. I have been a fortunate one who has been able to learn AFS the past 5 years from some incredibly knowledgeable people at my clinic, which meant very little was new or unknown to me. As usual, my mind was racing with a billion questions. I wanted to pick their brain and understand movements being demonstrated further than what was being discussed. I quickly realized that what I would get out of this course wouldn’t necessarily be the same as every other person sitting in that room. The challenge for me was and is going to be finding ways to use my knowledge to help others grasp a very difficult concept. More importantly what I learned this past weekend was that I must believe in myself and believe in the knowledge I have. In some weird way, Gary Gray allowed me the ability to finally realize that my vision of how the body moves is something special, that I am something special and that I will be given the opportunity to positively alter the lives of every single person that comes into my life. The friendships I will gain and the self belief I will continue to gain means so much more than any course content because it is those things that can change the world we live in.

I am still here today with a purpose of serving others and giving them hope when they struggle to find any on their own. I will have my bad days but I am so much further along then I was months after losing my father. I read something the other day that I had wrote three months after my dad passed that talked about how I couldn’t believe I made it three months without my father by my side. I remember those days. I remember wondering how I could go on, if I could go on, If I even wanted to go on and if I had a purpose to living with my dad no longer being there.  As I look back now those words were coming from a heart that was so pain struck that I had lost all ability to see any sort of light. Those words are crazy to comprehend because there has never been a day that my dad is not with me. People wonder why I am the way that I am and it’s all because of my father. I guarantee that he is living through me in order to continue transforming peoples lives one at a time. It’s weird to acknowledge but I see more of his traits in me now that he is gone than I ever did before. He will always live through me and I know that even in my most difficult moments he will never let me give up because he knows how many people need to feel my love.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for caring so much about me. Thank you to those people who have never given up on me and have always supported every decision I have made. Remember to be grateful for what you have in your life and to never lose compassion for people. We all need to feel loved and if we can just show a little more love each day slowly this world will become a much brighter place. Believe in yourself and believe that you have the power to change others lives.

God Bless,
Taylor