Friday, June 10, 2011

Not a day I am looking forward to...

Sometimes an entire week feels as if it never happened. Time goes by so fast that you look back and wonder what each day actually consisted of and the events that occurred. That was the case for my week. I was pretty busy, which was one reason it went by so quickly. I didn't have a whole lot of time to just sit around and think. Work was busy at times and it made the days much better. I enjoy when work is busy because I actually feel like I am doing something rather then being lost leaving me to think my time away. It was nice to have a better week. A week that had it's downs but also had a lot of ups. I can't really say the ups out weighed all the downs but that is something I am beginning to understand more about. I know that will be the case for a little while. My one hope right now is that this coming week goes by just as fast...

I would like to say that I am not expecting or planning for Father's day to be rough but it already has been and the day is still over a week away. I am constantly reminded while listening to the radio, watching commercials on TV, listening to conversations and walking through stores. Every where I go something reminds me of what day it is next weekend. I don't want to prepare for it to be hard but how can it not be. It's a day specifically made for fathers and each of us only has one real father. Often times people can take the place of your father or fill that void but it's not the same.

I guess I never really understood the meaning behind holidays. Obviously I know the true meaning behind them but what I am taking about is what they mean to each of our families. We all cherish holidays for different reasons and appreciate different things about each day. In a lot of cases once someone is missing from the family the holidays no longer mean what they used to. For my family, my dad was a HUGE piece of every single holiday. The only thing we can do now is hope that holidays have a new meaning and that we start new traditions. day that can never change is fathers day. It will be a reminder each year that my dad is no longer here.

I would love to sleep through this entire week or run away and not have to be around anything that reminded me of what was happening, but I also know that's not a good idea. This is something that I have to face, a day that I have to get through. I don't really know how but I will. I need to find that thing that allows me to remember my father, while also keeping myself busy. Something that helps me remember how awesome my dad was and how lucky I was to have someone like him in my life. Hopefully it ends up being okay, more like hopefully I am okay...

God Bless,

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