Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A Look Into My Life Verse

As a teenager I began to fully believe in the saying "everything happens for a reason", without realizing the mountains I would be forced to climb as I continued on my journey through life. At the time it felt as if I graduated from high school never having to deal with multiple situations at one time. Life was a little easier then I made it out to be or would have admitted at the time. From that point on I would be placed in a position that caused me to deal with trials of all different kinds. I moved away from home and was excited to get away, start new, and continue to live out my dream of playing college soccer. It was at that point that I began to understand that you couldn't just run away from everything in your life. My two years spent in Kansas were extremely difficult and consisted of various trials. It was the period in my life that began all my injury troubles and would leave me still dealing with them at this point and time. However, I still believed that I went to Kansas for a reason and that some good would come out of it. I knew I was meant to be there at that point because I learned a lot and met a lot of awesome people.

Two years later I found myself doing anything in my power to move back to California and still be able to play soccer. As I stepped foot on the campus of San Diego Christian College I was very unsure of how I would fit in. Everything about the place was foreign and at that time I wasn't willing to open up to what the school had to offer. The first semester consisted of me hating where I was but enjoying soccer and the girls I had met. The only classes I enjoyed were classes that were structured towards my major and the other classes were just boring to me. We had to take Bible courses each semester to graduate and I found myself being kicked out of the only Bible class I had ever taken because I didn't show up. I finished the semester having surgery on a torn meniscus and then my ankle, which had a floating bone that was causing pain. The ankle surgery was performed in January of 09' and from that point on my view on life would be changed forever. 

The saying "everything happens for a reason" took on a completely new meaning to me. The new meaning was found in a verse that would become one of my life verses. It's a verse that I constantly think about and each trial that arises in my life brings me right back to this same verse. The verse that I am speaking of is Romans 8:28.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"
The issue with how I viewed this verse was that I attempted to see good in every situation and when I didn't I would wait for the day that I would realize why I was put through such a difficult time. I was so focused on the word "good" and also the words "in all things", when in reality there is so much more to this verse. Romans 8:28 is a verse that is overused at times because of its popularity, but I truly believe that the reason it's so overused is because we are in need of finding the true meaning behind this verse. I recently decided that I wanted to take a deeper look into the verse that has become words of hope in my life. As I studied this verse I realized I was looking at it completely wrong.

Romans 8:28 isn't promising that good will come from every single thing that happens to us but rather a promise that God will find a way to bring good from each situation. We tend to struggle to find our way out of difficult times and become surrounded by the bad rather then searching for the good. I have found that this verse is stating that God takes all things that happen in our lives, the good and the bad, and makes them work together. We may never know why things happen to us or we may find out right away, but the things that do happen have a purpose. Behind all the pain and struggling is another side that we must be willing to see, a side that could possibly alter our life dramatically. If good things are happening to us it's because God is working in our lives but that doesn't mean that He also isn't working through the bad. That is the statement that leads me to believe that a lot of the meaning behind this verse is not that "all things work together for good", but actually that God is working in all situations.

There have been a lot of situations that I never thought I could make it through. I have had times in my life where giving up was all I wanted to do. I felt like crawling in a black hole and hiding from the entire world. But during those times God opened my eyes to so many beautiful things around me. I began to see trials as something completely different. I no longer felt doomed from the start but rather searched for the meaning behind them. I searched to find what God wanted from me and how He wanted to change my life through that specific trial. My life hasn't been any easier since the day I found this verse, if anything it has been much, much harder. But on my wrist reads "Omnia Causa Fiunt", which is Latin for "everything happens for a reason". Unlike a lot of tattoo's it is facing towards me, because it's a reminder every single time I look at it. I am the one that gets to see it every time I look at my wrist, so I wanted to be able to always read it easily. The scene below are clouds that surround a cross with dove's flying through it, which stands for Heaven and the doves are the love that flows through from God.

Lately I think I have forgotten what it means to deal with difficult situations and what it means to hope for a better time. I have been stuck in darkness, hiding my emotions from every single person near me instead of opening up and being honest with how I am feeling. I have not only ran away from those closest to me but I have also shut them out from knowing anything that was going on. There have been times where I felt like I could no longer live and that being with my dad was the only thing that could help. I have been living in fear, fear of showing what is really going on and fear of what everyone else would think if they really knew. The person I have been is not the person I like being. It's a person that scares me, a place that I feel very unstable, and out of control. Luckily, I have had some really good days lately. I have once again taken pride in the work that I am doing and the job I have. I love my job and I truly love what I do. It's nice to feel like I have a purpose and to actually take pride in something.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
 Hebrews 11:1 is the verse that states the actions that must be taken after reading Romans 8:28. Through everything we go through we must have hope for a better day and have the patience to take it day by day. At the time it's difficult to see any good, but to make it through the most difficult situation we must cling to the fact that there will be a better day. Whatever the trial may be, there is a purpose behind it and at some point you may clearly see the reason for the struggle you fought through. It may be a person you meet a long the road, a life you change, something you fight for, a cure, or it could just be a realization into something you have been struggling with. Allow yourself to find the good in the situations that present themselves. Take time to think about what you have been taught through the trial you are dealing with or maybe what you never thought was possible. There is something behind what you are dealing with, so try not to take anything for granted.

God Bless,

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