So in the car today on my way to work I heard a song that I had not heard for a pretty long time and it spoke to me. I am a huge fan of music because of the impact one song can have in that moment and the ways in which lyrics relate so much to our lives at times. I think we often forget that so many other people struggle with similar things, so knowing that maybe just one other person understands makes things a little easier. The lyrics that stood out the most to me were...
"Would you dare, would you dare to believe
That you still got a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
Come on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning"
These lyrics gave me the hope I needed to know that one day this struggle won't have the same impact that it does on me today. The interesting thing was that last night while I couldn't sleep, my mind was racing as it usually does but this time I was able to find the analogy that best fits where I am at right now. As a child whenever I drove through a tunnel I always thought it was extremely exciting to come out on the other side...call me weird I am okay with that. I found excitement in seeing the light. It was especially cool when it was raining because for that moment the rain stopped and the minute the car came out of the tunnel it began to rain again. It's amazing what excites children. But anyways, as I laid in bed last night I began to understand a little about what it is that I am feeling. We hear the saying "there is light at the end of the tunnel" often, but it never means very much at the time because we just can't see it. But in reality, that statement is so very true. At some point, no telling when, the light will shine bright and whatever we are going through will no longer seem as huge as it once did. We try so hard to force the light to shine that we actually just prolong it because the tunnel is going to be as long as it's meant to last. When people are afraid to drive through a tunnel they attempt to speed up the process, which yes gets you through it faster but it's also more dangerous. The same goes in our lives. We can be afraid of the situation we are in and attempt to speed it up but instead of handling what scares us, we actually just skip over the things that need to occur for us to actually move on. You have to make it through the tunnel before you can get to what's waiting at the other side. And we may not know at that exact moment, actually we don't know, what that something is, but one day we will. This is the point that you realize that no matter what is thrown at you, you will make it to the other side.
As of now, I feel like my tunnel is never ending and I feel like the light will never shine through. But, that is my situation that is speaking because my heart knows that there really will be a bright light that one day I will see. No matter how dark my life looks right now, I know that it won't stay like this and I know that I will make it out of all this. God has much bigger plans for me then to be sad and depressed. My dad has much bigger plans for me too. I actually find comfort in knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. For some, that saying may just make things worse, but if you really think about it you will find that there is so much more to those words. Those words have become more than just a cheesy quote used to pick people up when things are hard. They have true meaning and they hold something far greater than most take the time to see.
I have began to realize that there is a lot more behind even the most common statements we use to help pick people up when they are down. I know that I tend to hear those sayings and just smile thinking "right, that one again" or "I have heard this one so many times and this person has no clue what I am going through"...yes, that may be true they may not understand but still think about what they are saying. Process the fact that it may be what you need to hear at that exact moment to change your mind about even just the smallest thing in your life. Do your best to actually care about things people say because they probably mean them. They may be that one person that understands a little about what you are going through.
Today was a good day. Not because anything special happened but because I had the chance to wake up and live out a life of love. Each day is a gift, a gift that we are lucky enough to be given. As hard as it may be there are always things to be thankful for. I am thankful for the people that are in my life. The people that have stuck by my side no matter what I was going through. I am thankful that I am lucky enough to say that I have a group of friends, family, and co-workers that care so much about me that they would do anything for me. It's not always easy to see all that but in my heart I always know it is true. I love and care for each and every person and thank you all for the support.
God Bless,
Tay
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